What To (and not to) Do When You’re Wrong

When you’re wrong, Don’t:

• Don’t be mean, rude, or automatically attack them because they told you that you were or are wrong.
  
  
• Don’t automatically assume that someone is “just a hateful person with nothing better to do” because they’re pointing out that you’re doing things incorrectly.
  
  
• Don’t automatically assume that cussing means they’re angry, being rude, or they’re attacking you. Some people are just passionate or just talk like that naturally. Further, studies have actively shown that people are actually more receptive to cursing as those who do so often do so because they are passionate about the subject they’re speaking on.
  
  
• Don’t discount, ignore them, or brush them aside because of the tonality (which you may or may not have misinterpreted) of their response to you.
  
  
• Don’t tone police them or tell them they should be nicer to you or others. Especially if you may have been completely rude to them when they were nice to you.
  
  
• Don’t ignore sources and continue to shout “educate me“ after you’ve been given the resources you’ve demanded.
  
  
• Don’t hide behind "my opinion"; yes, your opinion is fine and dandy, but your opinion isn’t untouchable or somehow deserving to be free of scrutiny just because it’s yours. Additionally, opinions may be wrong and not actually opinions at all despite you believing that they are. Your opinion may be founded on inaccurate information, may contain fallacies, or may completely disregard established fact, in which case it is not “an opinion” but a misconception that needs to be corrected.
  
  
• Don’t try to pull the “freedom of speech” card- and if you are trying to play that card you need to reevaluate your understanding of what “Freedom of Speech” actually means: The Freedom of Speech means that you have the right to say almost anything you want without risk of penalization from the government so long as you’re not inciting crime or violence, making true threats, and a few other things. It does not, however, mean that you can say whatever you want without social repercussions, or that you may not face penalization by nongovernmental bodies- and it also doesn’t mean that you have a right to anonymity in saying it.
  
  
• Don’t play the “We’re all human“ card. That card does not exist if you are being called out for a racial issue. Furthermore, it has been proven that “Color-Blindness” is not only racially insensitive, but also perpetuates the cycle of racism and helps to increase the damage done by it; the fact that we’re all Human does not erase the right and ability for those who have rightful ownership over their culture and cultural items and terminology to control the flow and distribution of those things.
  
  
• Don’t play the “I can do whatever I want” card, either; no, you really can’t do whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want. If you have to obey federal law, you can be a decent enough person not to completely disregard established religious and spiritual laws, traditions, etc, as well. It’s really not that difficult.
  
  
• Don’t scream and throw a temper tantrum. If you’re being told you’re wrong, usually it’s for a reason. Most people will be nice to you until you get up on that self-righteous soap box and start screaming like a petulant child. Two year old’s throw self righteous, entitled temper tantrums about it. Adults and people who want to be taken seriously do not.

When you’re wrong, Do:

• Do re-read things to ensure that you’re not mis-interpreting their tone or message, and are instead reading it fully, and in the correctly intended manner and tonality.
  
  
• Do ask questions for clarification if you are confused as to their intent or tone, or what they are trying to say you are doing wrong- or anything else you’re confused about.
  
  
• Do ask questions about what they feel you are doing wrong, and ask how to fix it or what the correct manner of doing it is. Ask for resources.
  
  
• Do actively look into the things they are telling you you are wrong about, and do your own research on the topic- including with any resources they have given you.
  
  
• Do approach any sources, articles, and corrections, etc, with a truly open mind and consideration that you are wrong.
  
  
• Do be aware of and watch out for when you may be suffering from problems like The Backfire Effect, Confirmation Bias, and other problems that may affect your openness to and willingness to accept new information.
  
  
• Do stop, sit down, and think about the fact that you may potentially be wrong, and what you are believed to be wrong about.
  
  
• Do accept it, apologize, and correct it If you are indeed proven to be wrong.